Painting/dancing are both activities that I do that are mindless that help me to stop thinking. They are also escapism and sometimes even calm me down. Thoughts sometimes even get processed with new revelations happening during or after such events. The problem is when I do this to excess like I have been doing recently. Making art just for the sake of it doesn’t result in great pieces. It just results in a lot of clutter. This is why I don’t always like to do it as the majority of my pictures are not very good.
I’ve already come to the conclusion I can’t dance and now I have come to the fact that I can’t draw either. This is bad if you want to become a comic writer. You have to listen eventually when you have been given countless books on how to draw flowers, people and even gifted games for you to practice on etc.
This is quite troubling to me as it’s yet another thing I’ve tried to accomplish and failed at despite committing a lot of time and resources to this. I know I want to do something visual, with colour, words and material but acting, dancing and costume making are all out. Just like being a makeup artist or designer.
I’ve also looked into being an architect or a graphic designer these have not gone anywhere along with my efforts at being an artist. Neither has my efforts to be a novelist, blogger or a journalist. My original training was to be a website designer but that didn’t stick. I’ve tried to be an entrepreneur as well as a linguist and they haven’t worked out too well either.
I tried photography too but struck out as that’s a shrinking industry. I thought since I like writing, travelling and history I could combine these which I have done in my blogs and my books but like everything else it doesn’t materialise into anything.
My sense of humour is quite literal but that kind of joke doesn’t work well anymore as they need to have something gimmicky or technological. I looked into psychology and neuroscience because I’m interested in helping others like myself past my existing work but the cost is prohibitive and I’m still paying for my degree.
Ecological/gardening work is too niche as is charity work and volunteering is only temporary with too many changes of staff and customers. This is also true of when your a receptionist, shop worker or dealing with admin.
I’ve also been a teachers assistant but again the cost is prohibitive and the paperwork is insane. I know teachers and it’s also the only job that you have tonnes of experience with before you start.
So I’ve tried many, many activities but still haven’t found anything suitable as I can’t travel to where there located due to my ability to drive after my accident.