I’ve been watching and commenting on a lot of Netflix recently as the weather has been so bad with storms. This evening I decided to watch Next in Fashion as a little light entertainment as I love clothes shopping and my most recent guilty pleasure is to watch Ru Paul’s Drag Race.
After that I watched some more of the Chef’s table while waiting for my husband to come to bed. I have never connected with a strangers story so deeply as I did with today’s chef.
She was an Indian lady who felt shame her entire life as she was a girl and that meant a burden for her parents. Since she perceived that they really wanted a boy she became that boy doing all that you would expect of one. As a result she didn’t know how to behave as a girl and nobody was interested in her. She went to college to get an education, met a guy and got married but she still felt empty. She had no connection to her past and she was just drifting through life.
I have had this criticism from my mother so many times but it’s true and I am.She decided that she needed to go home as she needed solace. Her family recognised that she was in need of some healing and helped her out. She learnt to cook from her family and then returned to her husband after she had acquired sufficient knowledge. He was shocked at her new skills. She noticed on her return that there were many women nearby who were similarly disconnected like she had been and set out to fix this by creating a supper club.
This is where you invite many people to your home, cook for them and they pay you. This turned out to be a lively affair that continued for many years until her children appeared and they became old enough to be disgruntled with this arrangement.
Now she had to look at her life with fresh eyes as she could no longer affect her children in such a way. She began looking for a new purpose and after much deliberation with her new neighbourhood friends and family opened up a restaurant.
The point I’m trying to make her is that we start out in life thinking we should be a certain way based on what we believe our parents want from us.
This is not always right for us. She became a lawyer with a phd but this didn’t make her happy. When she started cooking her family looked on aghast like this was a step back as she was the only one to be so highly educated.
In the end it turned out to be the making of her just like in one of the other stories where the southern girl finds herself when she reinvents southern cooking and her parents are initially against it as it’s not what they wanted for their daughter.
I’m still undergoing changes to find out what I truly want to be but this constant writing I’m doing at the moment is really helping unearth what has been buried within me for a very long time.