How children reveal your childhood

  • Spending time with other people’s children is interesting as it really reveals the strongest influences from your own childhood.
  • Mine are
    • You must use language correctly as you might have guessed already and
      You must obey authority, the hierarchy and do as your told ensuring you fit into society like a nicely oiled cog into a machine.
  • The second point I have always struggled with because I have always stuck out like a sore thumb.
  • I lacked confidence as I didn’t have the size, weight or muscle development for sports along with having inverted hips and knees which was discovered when my schooling had more or less finished.
  • Also, I was always seeking external validation. I didn’t believe in myself as I couldn’t do what everyone else appeared to do so very easily. I wanted praise and attention from my elders and was looking up to them continually. I wanted reassurance that what I was experiencing was normal. I was raised to obey and appreciate the wisdom of those that were older than me but not to question what I was told.
  • This disconnect meant I tried to impress teachers too much. Which left no time for me to connect with my peers. People quickly get bored of explaining why they do every single action as I had to do with my parents. Everything I did was queried to make sure it was in alignment with their principles. You had to look the part and be disciplined in all things including being on time and prepared for all eventualities.
  • This was only possible for me by not thinking and just blindly obeying. I couldn’t explore a place by myself as it was too dangerous. They feared my naïveté would get me in trouble and cause too much worry for them.(They had in fact caused this by wrapping me in cotton wool so that I was shielded from the world but as a result I couldn’t grow.)
  • The fact that the British Empire was dying in the year of their birth and just went into free fall in the following years meant that they were growing up in an unstable world. So much societal change was happening and the technology that came with it was astounding.

  • So you can see the dilemma that occurred during my childhood which wasn’t really there fault but contributed substantially to the way I was turning out.
  • People really should have children when they are younger because then they can adapt to changes in society a lot better but for me this has not been possible so I hope I don’t create the same situation if I ever have any.
  • As you age you think that you have put the past behind you and moved on with an independent adult personality. You believe that it is composed entirely of things that you have added or experienced as an adult. That all comes crashing down when your introduced to children. They highlight your own upbringing. I have experienced this more with guys than with girls simply because I’ve associated more with them in the past.

    Guys these days often come across as modern in terms of gender equality, grooming, dress and other attitudes that you would expect from an 21st century man. However, as soon as they have children they seem to revert to belonging to the patriarchy, dressing in a more traditional and relaxed style and of course they don’t have the time or energy to maintain their looks or their body like they used to. This just goes to show that the only real time you can change a guy is when he is in nappies or diapers if your American.

    2 Comments Add yours

    1. Not everything that is expected from a 21st century man is an improvement. For example, grooming and clothing is often just a facade we wear to impress. We return to our natural state once the prize is won. It can also be a sign of narcissism and vanity.

      I think I’m a better person now than I was thirty years ago when I married and that was better than 15 years before that. Experience can teach a lot but you have to listen. Some do, many don’t.

      Like

    2. That was based on a couple of people I had met so it’s not a through study but I just thought the change was interesting.

      Like

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