Can you read too much?

I believe that yes you can actually get to a point where you have read so much it is actually hindering your progress in your current task. I always had this problem when I was at school as I just love knowledge. I never knew when to stop as reading is one of my favourite activities. The fact I actually had to stop, because I had gained enough for the assignment in question, always seemed odd to me.

The problem with endless reading is that you need to do something with all that information otherwise you will explode. Info dumps on unsuspecting people that you come across are not pleasant for them. I enjoyed them because it’s like undergoing catharsis. That burden that the information places on you has been relieved. Such a deluge of data is not useful to others though as it just washes over them. They forget as soon as you have finished and you get annoyed as you have once again tried to connect unsuccessfully. You don’t know how to connect but proving your recall skills certainly isn’t the way forward. The problem is you don’t know any other way as nobody has ever told you. Your therefore left wanting as your attempts to form connections lead nowhere.

Being confident is important but we are often insecure. We know our material but it’s often too obscure and to lengths that nobody is interested in. We are specialists in a world that respects generalists. We can become generalists but then we lose our autistic superpower and only the deficits remain. This is not a good way to live.

I’m choosing to write to get rid of the knowledge that I acquire on a regular basis but I feel that very few appreciate my input into the world. Everyone needs love in this lonely world of ours but getting it isn’t easy if your not rich/popular.

Onelinness is the word that has been coined to name when we appreciate ourselves and respect our alone time. It says that I maybe by myself right now but it does not mean I am disconnected from the world. I can involve myself in the world if I choose to but I frequently do not. I use my time to make sure that I am not harbouring negativity towards others and that I am making the best of my abilities. I am a positive person that learns and can adapt to the changing circumstances that I experience. This is a big ask of anyone let alone an autistic whose emotional perception levels are frequently off chart due to others carrying around so much baggage that it’s a wonder they can function at all.

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